I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
