She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
