Fine. I'll sleep in my office
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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