September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
