The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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