I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
