Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize