Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
