I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
