A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
