So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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