No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
When are your genitals available?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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