Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
oh god the rape fog is back!
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
