Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
And then my night got REAL pukey
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
