Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
So vagazzling was a success
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
