yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
