First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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