I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize
