rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
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