My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
