Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
