so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Help. Why am I so naked?
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