haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
