Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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