Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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