I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I wear drunk well.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize