why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
