I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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