just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
