The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
