SEEEEXXX PLEASE
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Randomize
