After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
