Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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