I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Randomize