In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Randomize
