When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
