I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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