Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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