we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
