over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
