Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
She's the barista slut.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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