Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
