maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Randomize
