We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
