idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
