three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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