I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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