the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
