Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize