I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
