Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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