I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
