So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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