too bad you live with your parents still
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
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