Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
