Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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