i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
