he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
