I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
