We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
