Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Randomize
