Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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