well you can't waste a boner
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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