would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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