At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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