I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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