GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
