it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I could fuck to npr.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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